Hesitation

Contained:

This world is crumbling from beneath our feet.
The black hearts of darkness outnumber those of light and their bodies stain the soil of growth.

To breathe is to reflect the light that Yahuah beams through my inner gate, my spirit, my being.
Without Him, I am in darkness.
My dirtied glass does function some, but I await the full washing that only His Son can do when He returns and changes this flesh for a new body.

Spill:


I am cold and alone here.
Your panels are shattered pieces of what they once were.
Once a palace of crystal where Your eminence was magnified and with You at heart, at the center!
Haters of Your esteem broke our foundation.
Such scattered pieces.
I wail at our fallen state. At what still is to come.
At what the end those who have lost hope and who have abandoned You will one day meet.

I dare not beat my chest and clink and ding to honor the color of my own pane.
I dare not forget what stains cover my being.
Unworthily, I breathe Your Name and speak Words once spoken by You...because of Your charge.
The duty and instruction You have given me.
This filthy pane will stand and be placed where You ask, where You desire that Your light, Your work be done through it.
May I always know what I once was, that I never look too loftily at any other.

My eyes are wide to soak what little light they may see.
This large and dark room swallows my senses and stings me with every movement.
What a place this is to be captured.

My waking moments, and I am shackled.
Bound to the ground and earth beneath with the entirety of the shamayim touching my face, wrapping around my neck, and yet too far away to see.
The flush of blood washes over with the shiver.
One numbing moment of warmth and then, again, I arrive bound and burdened.



Your sun rests itself on yet another day.
One day closer to Your return.
If You could see what they have done to Your house.
Of course,
You see.

Such shame.
Such lack of love and wealth of loathing.
I have been crying out and am never at peace.
The unhearing ears are unnumbered.
May Your intended speech be heard!
Oh, that all of Your world would turn back to You!

We are inclined to strike against You, to decline Your so-generous offer.
Hateful things we are and so lovingly You wait for us to accept.


It is painful too meditate on, so I continue.
If I keep moving, I won't think about the horde that surrounds us.
The fallen and decaying bodies whose stench bring tears to blur my vision.
The heat of my brow in the aching cold as I seize my breath between the violent and unheard wails,
You knew how wide I would need to open that I can pour out perfectly.
Enough to realize that I am heard by You.
You see the wound that has not healed and have told me it will be bound.
As I am, I must continue.
You have trained me to carry this burden until the end.
I must only place one step before the other.
The lull of movement becomes an innate and thoughtless fatigue.
Perpetually exhausted, restored, repeat.

Your wisdom is beyond all and I pledge my eternal allegiance to You, YAH

Todah