( Vlog Link: https://youtu.be/7s2Q0vxZ5w8 )
I want to start this off by giving praise to Yahuah creator of shamym uarats, the heavens and the earth, for my parents.
Their choices exposed me to the scriptures early in life and for that, I am indebted and immensely grateful. Love y’all. Thank you.
My parents are from Barbados and if you’re not familiar with the island, you should know that Christianity is a popular religion there.
A couple years before I was born, my parents moved to the States and began their Christian ministry right away. My dad is a pastor to this day.
I grew up Christian, and as a PK (also known as a pastor’s kid) grew up REALLY Christian. PERFECT Sunday attendance, lead singer in Xmas plays, frequent lead in youth group; basically my second home... maybe it was my first? Eldest and yes a tad bred to take up the family business, I eventually grew old enough to choose what to believe.
And as a young adult, I was basically an extremely casual Christian.
I hit a pretty low point in my life during university years while working at some dead-end job and was asked a question that would change my life forever,
“You celebrate Christmas, don’t you?”
My boss at the time knew my family was Christian and after giving him the obvious answer, he proceeded to tell me about this book he wanted to lend me.
Guide to the Global Conspiracy (and how to end it), the edition with George bush Jr. and Hillary Clinton on its cover, if i recall correctly.
Anyway, he wanted me to check out this book because it talked about Christmas originally being a pagan holiday. (No, it wasn't an attack; we were on good terms.)
I was entirely skeptic but he mentioned that the book had that and a vast amount of other interesting information... so i decided to give it a read.
At this point of my life, i was a 20-something who had read the entire Harry Potter series but never the Bible from cover to cover. You know, a typical PK. And here i am given a book just as thick.
Despite it's length, I DEVOURED that book.
I began at the passages that were about xmas and was immediately blown away and shocked at even the POSSIBILITY of something as foundational to my albeit casual Xian belief being of an idolatrous origin.
I scrambled to research more on the validity of this claim and it wasn't long before I had found enough evidence to solidify my newfound belief: xmas, originally, was pagan.
As a casual Christian, this was fascinating!
But honestly... it didn’t bother me much. I was a fan of Xmas because of the gifts and the parties.
What did bother me, shake me, dismantle me and disturb me was the content in the rest of that book.
Before I press further, I need to date myself:
I was in middle school sitting in class when the tv was rolled in and live footage of one tower burning was on the screen. Suddenly there is commotion on the screen and in my class as an explosion erupts from the skyscraper on TV after being flown into by an airplane!
“Isn’t this America? How can this happen here? It’s not possible.“ These were my immediate thoughts.
I still remember all the varying rumors and reports of how sketchy everything seemed, along with the Pentagon getting attacked, around that time. The voice yelling out that there was a conspiracy of America against its own people could not be quelled enough to prevent reaching my middle-school ears.
“Extreme evil exists in this world.”
In my short life as a minor, I had already grasped this fact. Maybe it had to do with witnessing a stabbing as a 5 year old. Or being molested as a pre-teen. Or the many instances of racism and bullying that are just oh-so-normal to experience as a dark-skinned child in America.
When this book touched on the topic of 9/11 and then ultimately an international shadow government and its shadow religion consisting of demon and idol worship... I was... shaken... but I wasn't entirely surprised.
I couldn’t swallow everything in that book as truth but what resonated within me was the detailed explanation of how the world is run by corrupt rulers who love and serve evil, fetal sacrifices and all. The thorough conquest of naming names and places and actions of this network painted a picture of many worshipping absolute evil... which sounded like the dragon that I grew up learning about in the dreamland of my weekly Sunday-sermon nap.
Years after receiving that book, I had consequently researched and experienced so much and gained a newfound belief: Satan actually exists.
It took a while but when that realization sunk in, it broke me down and literally brought me to my knees in utter helplessness and desperation. Rock bottom.
I was going to fight against this evil in one of two ways: physically or spiritually.
Because either Satan existed or there is a network of the wealthiest people on the planet who have for generations been committing atrocities to stay at the top of the world in rulership who just happen to be extremely fascinated with ancient idol-worship and lust after bloodshed. I don’t know about you but that sounds like Satan to me.
How much time had passed while I was on the floor humped over, flowing tears with my head pounding as I felt the weight of that moment’s reality?
My mind scrambled as I envisioned extreme best-case scenarios with the insignificant amount of power I held. And in the event that there WAS actually a spiritual world hidden behind the things our eyes see, I wanted to reach whatever positive energy existed out there that was alive and could hear my inner-person calling out for assistance fighting against this evil.
I didn’t expect much.
I should say that I didn’t expect anything but I had enough hope to “ask.”
After that rock bottom... I received my reply. And then I received another reply. And then another reply. The blaring message was “I exist. Here I am. Here I am. “
Things that no human person or persons could’ve manipulated to cause to happen.
Instance after instance after instance after instance... “There is no doubt.”
I gained another piece of truth: A positive invisible energy exists and responds."
I had two paths in front of me. It was clear. Fight this evil with my hands or fight using spiritual power. As I neared the fork, I heard a voice coming from one of the paths. A voice that spoke without words. Without the sound of the voice of any beast or man.
Where can I learn more about this positive force? Is it the deity of the belief my parents raised me in?
I explored a few different avenues and near-immediately, learned what was and wasn't responding. Difficult to explain, but I'm trying.
I ended up exploring a venue that was around all my life but had not sincerely been a part of my spiritual life.
For the first time ever, I began to take going to church seriously.
I was there to learn.
From back-row lounger to front-row note-taker...
That conspiracy book taught that there was a perfectly positive energy and we needed to attempt to resonate with that energy to fight against the evil elite.
Again, this sounded familiar and I wondered if after all this time, the cure to the world’s undiagnosed and hiding cancer was in Christianity.
Going in, I knew one thing was clear... everything is not as it should be.
If the height of the year (in my experience) was a holiday that originally was pagan and had nothing to do with the original faith of the “positive energy” of the Christian scriptures... what else has crept in?
After hitting my rock bottom but then receiving successive responses to my silent calling, I was committed to this invisible entity who responded to my desire to fight the evil corrupting this world.
The more I learned along with the supernatural guiding of this One, the more I confirmed that I was interacting with the Creator spoken of in the book commonly called the bible. I believed in Him. But what is this other stuff that is being practiced but isn't found to be in the book of the Scriptures?
Christmas? Pagan. Easter? Pagan. (It's "Passover" that isn't pagan!) Birthdays? Pagan. (Poor John the Baptist...being beheaded as someone's birthday gift...that important brother! Sigh...)
But who was this Son figure? I was wary and did not accept the Son as part of the picture right away. I read about a Messiah in what is commonly called the “new testament” and while that character was fascinating, I wasn’t convinced about Him. What qualified Him? What’s the connection between Him and the One I was getting to know? What other witnesses were there that could enlighten me?
Was he an imprint of idol worship onto the True belief?
At this point, I didn’t touch the “Old Testament”. As a re-learning Christian, I didn’t use the “Old Testament” because no one talked about it and from what I gathered growing up, it was kind of useless reading.
Strangely, and again another written work that I don’t swallow as complete truth, I ended up coming across the ‘Books of Adam and Eve.’ While today I am more privy to the prophecies of Mashyach in the "Old Testament", I knew no better back then.
But from some of that work and the speaking of the Spirit, I BEGAN to believe that indeed this Father Spirit also has a Son. And it is indeed the person I've been learning about all my life. Or so I thought...
I now opened up my "bible" with different eyes.
I soaked up my Father's sermons at that time and would read and read.
I began to get more involved.
I finally took on the Youth President role. It was as if everyone knew that it was a matter of time that the first-born of the pastor's sons go through this rite of passage and eventually on to pastordom. Sigh.
With everything I had learned up to this point, I was convinced that I was living in an apocalyptic world and thus the prophecies regarding the end of the age found in books like Revelation strongly caught my interest.
I would encourage the youth group to try to be good people as I presented some of those passages in our studies.
I eventually hit a wall. The book of Revelation, especially, raised so many questions that the other 'New Testament' writings just weren't answering for me.
The end led me back to the beginning.
I... had no idea how many prophecies there were in the "Old Testament" that spoke of the end-times and prophesied some of the same messages found in Revelation and Matthew 24.
The more I dug in trying to find the meaning of such vivid and often symbolic imagery found in end-time prophecy...the more exposure I was getting to treasures long lost...
As I was testing and weighing out the truth through the religion of Christianity, I attended many different churches, assemblies, and meetings of varying Christian denominations. Meeting people, being another passing-yet-friendly stranger...it was a generally fine experience.
Until I began to diverge away from the banner of the Christian religion. I already was an odd-ball, separating myself from some of the church-year's most popular events...
In my study of the Word and growing and learning more about Who it was that reached back out to me, I came to learn about how a Scriptural day begins and ends at sundown; the moment the sun slips below the horizon.
I was honestly shocked that as a PK I didn't even know such seemingly rudimentary information. In retrospect... I honestly didn't know much about what the Scriptures said and knew more about the words of men and women.
Some passing visit to a friend's workplace and I met a fellow. A guy who was a mutual acquaintance. I can't remember a single thing about that conversation besides us both coming to a point of awe of the revelation of when a day begins/ends in the Scripts. It was unexpected and fascinating. There was so much to uncover about this One I was serving.
He told me check out a website. He said that he didn't agree with everything but there was a lot of interesting information there.
It was HebrewIsraelites.com or something like that. This was over a decade ago, forgive me. I remember lots of green on the webpage and a picture of what looked like a Black Moses. The site held a view of the Scriptures I had never encountered before. It talked about how there is to be belief in Messiah but also a guarding of commandments of the Torah.
Torah? Like...Jew stuff?
The rest of the site was dedicated to the belief that "Black" people are descendants of the ancient Israelites.
Seeing that information honestly didn't faze me much. I didn't blindly believe it nor did it thrill me.
I grew up disliking black people.
I'll explain...
My first school experience, besides Sunday school I guess, was at a private one with primarily korean and caucasian kids. My memories there are few but dismal. I recall coming home several times and crying that no one wanted to be my friend. By the end of second grade, I had made a couple of friends. It...was...an amazing feeling! 3rd grade came along and on my first day I was so excited to be sitting in class with my friends! People who actually wanted to talk to me and play with me!
It was such a strange morning... my dad showed up an hour or so into class and the next thing I know, we're driving home.
I was changing schools.
I end up in a public school within walking distance of my house.
Everyone looked different there. Most of the kids were dark like me or latino brown. And I learned pretty quickly that these dark kids hate me and that we are not the same kind of people. Thankfully, I had better experiences with people of my tone later in life but with such an introduction, there was always an aversion that took a long while to get over.
All this to say and explain how I had no real investment of interest in this seemingly new racial aspect of the Scriptures.
What truly stuck with me...and rocked my world was the discovery of the Torah. The Commandments. The Pentateuch. The Word of the Father.
Being the church hopper that I was I was curious about congregating. I noticed that this website had a number for a Sabbath conference call, whatever that was.
I had absorbed nearly all of the Torah related articles that were on the website and maybe a couple regarding race. Some other interesting articles were ones regarding the Names of the Father and Son.
The site claimed that Jesus, God, and LORD were not the true Names. It pointed to places like Psalms 68:4 showing that His Name was not what is commonly taught.
I eventually joined one of their Sabbath conference calls.
It was...an interesting experience. It sounded like church. Like a Baptist church kinda, but Yah and Yahoshua were the names called on. I took away the significance of the Sabbath day.
I didn't continue studies there for long as the racial matters didn't really get my attention but I now was researching more about this "Torah" they all kept talking about.
I learned that the Torah was a modern Hebrew word that is used in reference to the commands like the famous 10 commandments and others that are found primarily in the first five books of the Scriptures.
Out of Christianity so far, I learned a lot about how to intentionally love people in the way the Messiah did. I also learned that there were so many pagan elements, doctrines, and symbols used in that religion that I did not feel comfortable calling myself a Christian despite feeling guided there. In time, it became clear that there were pearls of truth hiding in the midst of what time and evil had covered over.
While the Hebrew Israelites on that Sabbath call made some interesting points, the emphasis on race wasn't much my cup of tea.
The thing that stuck out in my mind was how some of the end-times prophecies would allude to the keeping of commandments. And I thought the only commandments were pretty much loving the Father with your everything and loving your neighbor as yourself and believing in the blood of the Messiah and His resurrection.
Looking back, I guess I wasn't wrong...but I did not understand how deep that well runs.
A decade later and a lot has happened.
I continued to follow and heed the guiding of whom I now know as Yahuah: Father, Creator, and Mighty One of Abrham, Ytschaq, and Yaqb. I strive to do my best to live a life in daily obedience and leaning on the forgiving favor and blood of Yahusha Messiah. All while remembering and guarding the commands of Yahuah through the teaching and understanding of Yahusha.
This far into the pursuit of Light and I now am no longer fearful of and obsessed with the network of Shatan, because to do the Will of the Father and Son automatically dismantles the vain conspiring and plotting of the wicked shadow government or whatever you want to call the collection of the servants of Shatan.
I wanted to give a little bit of how I came to believe what I do.
I am a witness of Yahusha. I believe that He did live, die and then lived again. No, I no longer call Him Jesus.
No, I no longer call the Father, god or lord.
To love the Father is to be obedient to Him and the Son that He sent. And while there are many specific ways to love Him there are also many ways to love Him that we have the creative freedom to discover and explore.
I believe in the Good News. That there is a new world coming where Yahusha will rule and we are promised that Shatan, president of this world's evil and corruption is finally bound in chains and we will be brought back from the dead into everlasting life. I also believe that gaining access to this coming Kingdom requires submitting ourselves to Yahusha as King and following His Word in belief that it is the absolute Truth and Torah.
May this be an encouragement to all of you out there who have your own stories of how the Father has reached out to you and is preparing you for His world to come. What critical moment or question was presented to you that changed your life forever?
I look forward to sharing more of what Yahuah has done in my life, what He is doing, and look forward to what He will be doing in our world according to the end-times prophecies that are unfolding today.
Love and calm peace to all of you seeking a world rid of the darkness that plagues our generation.
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