Words I Don't Say

To my friends,
If only I could truly make you understand.
But it is a choice you must make in order to do so.
You ask so many questions and they aren't answered because of this fact.
My heart breaks everyday knowing truth and seeing it continually rejected.
My minor afflictions involve the ridicule of those who misunderstand.
My major ones include the knowing that many of those who I love are on their way to destruction.
Sure, they'll get to "enjoy" this life as much as they try to, never fully being complete,
but they will miss out on the grander life, the second one that has been promised to us, if only we become aware of He who gave us our life and our purpose.
People search all their lives for it, but because of it being convenient for the lifestyle they were taught to have by men, they reject the one given from above.
Children sat and listened to my words longer than most of those i've known and loved for years.
Tears come easier this day, especially for the dead who I wonder ever found Him before they lost the breath of opportunity.
There's no better time to seek Him than now.
That's the part that so many overlook, day by day.
Putting Him off until when? Until you had your first child out of wedlock?
Until you lose the one who gave birth to you?
Until you lose your dream career?
Until you lose your "soulmate"?
When will we give Him the time of day?
Do we not know that our every moment is a gift from Him?
It's a profound indication of His patience and mercy with us.
I've thanked Him many times before and will continue to thank Him for His many chances given to me.
I have had many moments where life nearly left me.
Even moments voluntary moments to end my life.
I thank you, my heavenly Father for these moments I borrowed from you doing foolish things.
My mistakes are scars dealt upon my heart by my own hand and all the while, You were pulling at my arm to keep me from carving into myself further.
I choose solitude most of the time because it breaks my heart to see you kill yourselves, friends.
To know, and to know your ears are closed, although I love you, I love myself enough to not inflict such torture on my own being.
I cannot bear to watch such gruesome scenes, even though I once was an actor in such spectacles.
I have quit.
Stormed out of the studio, and refuse to watch your work, your crafts.
Futility is a bore.
Such a hamster wheel cycle of intoxicating ones self for moments of false and chemical happiness.
I grew tired of the Free Samples and desired the Product Itself!
I've traded in my temporary passions for One that will never die, never leave me, and never be taken from me. I will never have to pay for it when it runs out.
I will never have to scheme and plot ways to attain it.
Continue to lead me, and guide me Perfection.
Creator and Father. Son of blood as I am adopted.
Thank you for loving me and continually trying to show me how to love.
Thank you for forgiving my ever-flow of errors only to show me that I must always continue to forgive no matter what the pain, because I know this world will not last.
And not everyone will stand to see the next.
I must love. Especially for them.

My family,
You are scattered and I know you not.

Family of earth,
I love you all and thank the Most High for your placement in my life.
I pray and hope for the best outcome for your lives.
May you seek His truth?

To me,
Although I have joy over my own being and placement,
I am also saddened because of the placement of those I know and yet care nothing for anything that will last beyond this broken world.
To only settle for the best of this place?
THEY are the ones settling for less.
The wealth of this world does not compare to the wealth of my Father, and He gives freely!
He only desires what He deserves.
We are to come to a point without doubt of Who and Why He is.
His nature is that of a Father...the perfect one.
One who disciplines only to teach us for future moments.
One who loves us even when we don't deserve to be loved.
One who holds us close as we cry with tears no one can see.
One who knows us better than anyone we have met or will meet.
One who is perfect and teaches us from His book of perfection.

I love You.
I love Your Son, whom came for our further example in such a profoundly perfect manner that is even today beyond the most "elite" of minds.
I love you friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers and will everyday learn how to show that in a more real way that would hopefully comparatively emulate my perfect Father.